Karen and I were talking lately about the role of wedding vows. We said our vows to each other 27 years ago...and I'd do it all again! But, like you, we've seen some friends not fulfill the vows they were so sure they would when they said them.
In the face of regular marriage breakdown maybe we should be thinking more about the role of wedding vows than we used to...especially the until-death-do-us-part part! More specifically, to whom do we make our vows?
When we make our vows we say them to a person! Seems obvious...but think twice about that. We make our vows to a person: not to a concept (marriage) nor to a feeling (love) nor to a context (happiness). The vow is "until death do us part" not "until our love fails" or "until happiness leaves" or "until circumstances change." I wonder if many couples said their vows to the wrong thing...to love or happiness or marriage...when they should have been saying them to a person?
What do you think? Do you think some people simply say their vows without meaning it? Or perhaps they meant it but didn't really say their vows to a person?
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